the loud voices

Interesting videos from the Today Show on the NYC Governor’s prostitution scandal.  Watch here and here please share your thoughts in response.

Cheating was his decision to repair what’s damaged and to feed himself where he’s starving.

-Dr. Laura Schlessinger

A lot of times they will dictate to other people what morality needs to be.  And that is a way they work out a lot of their own issues…

-Dr. Jeff Gardere

What I consider very interesting is that Governor Spitzer actually paraded himself around in his campaign saying that he would champion morality causes.  Dr. Laura’s quote above is very disconcerting and I’m sure quite controversial.  Dr. Gardere seems to pinpoint a very interesting concept — especially thinking back to the Ted Haggard scandal and the Jim McGreevey scandal.

Maybe humanity is just too broken to champion moral causes, as sad as that is?  Maybe we should do better at challenging the loudest voices — is their volume a mechanism to cover up their own shameful secrets?  I don’t want to be cynical–how can these scandals point toward a greater message of hope, wholeness and healing?

the world is watching

I honestly think it’s the biggest threat our nation has, even moreso than terrorism or Islam.

-Sally Kern, Oklahoma State Representative

There is so much to pick apart here.  But I want to say one thing that I think is most important. 

I think rhetoric like what was spoken on that video breaks God’s heart.  I am sorry that the world had to hear that.  I try to follow Jesus and I am a person of faith.  I think if Jesus were here today, walking among us, he would be sobbing to hear what people are doing “in His name”.

You are welcome to think differently–about your life, your faith and who you are–I believe God’s love is bigger and wider and deeper and that God loves you no more or no less than anyone else–but wholly, completely and unabashedly as you are.

**Update:  What makes this story even sadder is that Sally Kern’s son, Jesse, is gay.

message to myself, and you too :)

See, I am doing a new thing!  -Isaiah 43:19

Truthfully, the WOF conference came at the most inconvenient time for me this year.  It was the weekend before the weeklong Little People of America Conference, the same weekend as a dear friend’s wedding and the same weekend in which I was bloody, bloody sick.

But it is the only chance for me to connect with my friend Marilyn.  It’s more than just that, but you may read about that in a previous blog entitled  why I go.

Anyways, back to starting a new thing.  I took my little arena seat in the front row and felt heavy that night.  It was not as if I expected to have or did have a come-to-Jesus-moment because my life has never worked that way.  But in the quietness of my heart and through the words of each speaker, my hope was being renewed, little seed by seed.

My discouragement was summed up in one sentence by that casting director. 

-The world is not ready for a LP heroine.

Her words had ricocheted around my mind for over a week until, sitting in that seat, I heard a small voice say,

-The world might not be ready yet, but the kingdom IS.

And so maybe this blog is mostly for me, ammunition to face my next daunting audition, kinda like Melissa Etheridge’s latest song being literally called message to myself.

a little life

Extraordinary People – 10 Year Olds – Danielle Griffin

this girl has a type of dwarfism, pseudoachondroplasia.  that is the kind my mom  has.  i have achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism.  i do not face the joint difficulties that she faces, because my kind does not affect the joints adversely.

if you watch it until the end, i remember saying a similar statement as a little girl and i still feel the same way.   i did a lot of television interviews as a child as well.

bigger and wider.

so the “news” that i have been mulling over has been a whirlwind couple weeks.  tapes and phone calls and two weeks later, the principal film role i was in the top 2 for has been dropped.  the casting director said it was “too risky to have of of the main parts be a little person in a non-stereotypical role” and they were “going in a different direction and dropping this character entirely”.  it just irritates me because the entire point of the show i am on regularly (via my best family friends) is to show that little people are normal and it has extremely high ratings.  we don’t live in castles!  i guess our society hasn’t come far enough yet–african-americans and gays are mainstream but i’m not invited to the party yet.

we don’t have enough power to lobby against this–we don’t have an naacp or anything.  she flat out told me america is not ready to see a little person in a principal role in mainstream society.  that maddens me!

it continues to fire my passion to fight so that one day my daughter can continue to see people that look like her on television in non-degrading roles.  another ‘no’ gives me more ammunition to keep striving, propelling forward.  mark my words, i will not dance around on mtv as a miniature pop-starlet, i will not give up artistry for the sake of shallow entertainment, i will not portray myself in a way that perpetuates another stereotype.

now many of you will find my role in radio city a contradiction to this.  i have to admit that i had a preconceived negative opinion about radio city while i was in high school and college.  the head people would come to convention and recruit little people for the show and i would always turn up my nose at it.  i pursued higher education, for that i am very thankful, and ignored the whole scene despite the fact that i knew i would enjoy radio city as well.  (i began acting and speaking professionally when i was 4.)  anyways, i admit it, in this case i was a snob.  there is more to radio city than being a cheerful christmas elf.  the reason that radio city is distinguished in my mind is because everyone in the cast wears crazy, colorful costumes!!  little people are not the only ones on stage making a fool of ourselves!  we are treated just as kindly as everyone else.  another reason that radio city is targeted to being a family friendly show…every aspect of the show is geared towards children.  so yes, there are elves, christmas toys, santa, mrs. claus and of course, who could forget, the radio city rockettes!!!

i hope that as a person of faith i can continue to seek after this–justice and openness and throwing open the doors for all people, even in the entertainment industry.  god is bigger and his vision is wider. 

a god i can believe in.

Bono’s Speech at 2006 National Prayer Breakfast
 

Transcript Remarks — as prepared for delivery and courtesy of DATA — by Bono to the National Prayer Breakfast; Feb. 2, 2006.

one of the many reasons i am proud to be a free methodist:

Some final thoughts that have influenced our decision: – I have stood, more than once, before our church in small and large groups and shared my dream that a day will come when our beloved Free Methodist Church would be led by non-white males.  Our FMC is becoming more like the mosaic of heaven – with people from every nation, tribe, people and language now calling this their church home.  We will not be complete as a church or faithful to our heritage until- and unless, we make room for leaders out of this wonderful “mosaic” at every level of leadership in the church. 

-Bishop Roger Haskins, one of 4 bishops leading the Free Methodist Church of North America

Many people have asked what the “free” in Free Methodist means.  Free Methodists stood up against slavery and were very socially active in the political sphere.  They have had a history of advocating for the marginalized people adn social justice issues.  The Free Methodist Church also recognizes the equal calling, gifting and leadership of both men and women and has ordained both for nearly two hundred years I believe.  The Free Methodist Church was against the selling of pews and was a leader in poverty issues and that every person should have a seat who wants one.

I’m not trying to be a denomenational elitist, but the radical, pioneering aspects of Wesleyanism makes me very proud.  My spiritual heritage excites me greatly.

disgusted. rant following.

so i’m having a scrapbook night tonight, finishing up the hungary/romania mission trip 2005 scrapbooks before i can begin my radio city 2007 book.  so i was watching tlc’s what not to wear marathon and then randomly switched to vh1 in the middle of a disgusting, revolting show called springer hustle.

i don’t watch jerry springer, i find it absolutely offensive, but there were going to be little people on springer hustle so i decided to watch for a few minutes.  the show is basically a behind the scenes look at the jerry springer show, how they develop the stories and produce the show.

it mainly follows the head producer, an asian woman in her early 30’s with a lewd, crass mouth.  i was so offended.  she just kept saying, “midget this, midget that”.  “get those ‘f-ing’ midgets over here.”  “those midgets are so retarded looking”.  “let’s make those midgets make an ass out of themselves”.

yet, don imus is fired for saying one derogatory phrase about african americans.  while what he said was uncalled for, the fact that there are million-dollar lobbyist advocacy groups like naacp is probably why he got fired.  al sharpton and other leaders threatened to pull their advertising connections from the station.

honestly, i think it all came down to money.  little people are one of the last demographics accepted to be openly degrading towards. 

it’s not about pc’ness, it’s just my utter frustration that this would be allowed on television.  that there isn’t any large advocacy group with the power to make change.

and honestly, head-producer-chick, you’re asian.  how would you feel if the tables were turned on you, and your minority group was berated?

trapped: was i made for this life?

i’ve been feeling trapped lately.  perhaps it’s a death of the la vie boheme.  but yes, trapped.  by my head.  by my unanswered prayers.  by my dreams that linger just above my consciousness.  by my body.  by a body that the world sees as disabled–even when the artistry, the creativity, everything inside of me–just wants to be released.

so i’m disabled.  they say.  i am.  i know.  not the norm, majority–i don’t look perfect, i look like me.  short, petite, curvy, israeli, whatever word you want to use to describe me.  i’ve heard far worse.  midget screamed at the top of your lungs as you fling a can of soda at my face.  we have no place for you in this industry an agent told me in an interview once, despite talent, drive, desire.  was i born for a life of unfulfilled awakenings?  was it like god put all the dreams inside of me, the skills, the sprinkle of charm and then it all went awry when i came out tiny and he forget to change the inside of me, so that life would be more “realistic”?  did god just say “oops” when the inside package didn’t match the outside?

i have to believe god knew.  and knows.  that i would be small.  that i would have certain strengths, savvies and growth edges.  that i was born for this life.  my life.

trapped by my current lack of independence.  no car.  no job.  no finances.  no energy.  so i lie here at dusk, dreaming of what could be next.  there is always hope in the morning.  so i watch hours and hours of broadway songs, clips and interviews–seeing great artistry flutter and explode all over a stage and transform emotion through a camera.  of course, it’s less than seeing every great show in new york city. 

but it distracts me from the pain and it takes me to another place.  i’m just a moderate singer so probably not the musical type.  but will someone ever take the pen and pen my life?  can i take the stage, the camera, the microphone and be the vision on the screen?  so someone, a younger me, the hundreds of thousands of other little people can see someone on that screen?

someone who looks like them–and they can have proof that dreams do come true.  for every girl just like me who’s 12, please god, make her way easier.  make the ache in her heart lighter.  let her know it’s possible. 

what a beautiful soul.

Oprah’s Town Hall: After Imus, Now What

At about the one minute mark–listen to Dr. Robin Smith.

Well it’s really that this is a spiritual issue, it really is.  There is a hole in the soul of this country.  And so if we really want to address what we need to do, Don Imus was a–he’s a symbol–he’s a symbol of how sick we are.  He’s a symbol of the self-hatred, not just in African-Americans, but in White America.  And White-Americans may be wondering, “is this really my issue?”…

…What we’re not looking at is what systemic oppression is really about.  And it is about this.  If there is garbage, and you serve garbage regularly for a meal…at first it tastes terrible, it’s awful, it stinks, it makes you sick.  But when you have it long enough and I serve it to you well enough, and sometimes even dress it up with pretty plates and fine linen–it begins to trick your mind.  And your spirit.  And make you think that that which is toxic and poison actually starts to taste okay.  It’s like serving cyanide and calling it Kool-Aid…

…That is the real issue, and that’s why I said it’s a spiritual issue.  We’ve got to ask ourselves questions like, “what’s artistic” and “what is the right to free speech for?”  What is freedom because as we look at what it is to be emancipated, it is not emancipation to tear down another human being…

…If I eat away at his soul, what I don’t know is that my own soul is being poisoned at the same time.

Every time she takes the stage, Dr. Robin just speaks life into the human spirit.  I am in awe of her well-spoken, heart toward hope kind of being.  Wow.  I would like someday to be that articulate, that poised, that smart, and yet that generously empathetic.