sleeping to dream

i worked a lot this week.  i worked hard. i am exhausted. back to school night and general hustling to make things happen in LA kicked my bootay.  i have very few plans this weekend beyond catching up on  my dvr and getting ready to see my friend nikki james perform at musical mondays this coming week.  i’m so grateful she’s in LA for another month because i’ve gotten to spend a lot of time with her!

but my friend sara, had an even crazier week it sounds like.  i’m so behind on catching up on friends’ lives this week that i just finally got to see this.  miley cyrus has the flu or strep throat or something and sara was her standby that’s for sure!  wow.  now that is called professional! i am so proud to be her friend–a friend that can jump in and cover on a dime!  that takes talent.

my dear, dear friend stacey is getting ready for another season as a Radio City Rockette–this year in NYC!  I am so excited for her as well.  and my brother peet is going to be shooting wipeout in a month.  snaps!  hoping for my own excitement soon, but so proud of him!!

nodding my head like yeah

so needed a laugh today after a 13 hour work day…thanks eric mathew!  can’t wait to slow down for a few minutes so i can tell you about the rock’n show and see it again! :)

i’m here

hello l.a.!  i’m finally here, after 24 hours of travel upon which my brother and i made a movie which is in its editing stages and will be posted soon.  it’s actually pretty funny, if i do say so myself.  two feelings come to mind in regards to my first week in l.a. — grateful to be doing this and scared out of my mind!  i’ve travelled a lot and even lived in toronto on tour for three months but that’s just it–it was travel or i was on tour and all the details were taken care of.  this is my first time uprooting myself completely, taking 10% of my stuff (the rest is in storage) and moving.  i’m really proud of myself for doing it, really grateful that i can do it and also feeling typical fears and insecurities.

like will i ever have the community i had in seattle?  will i fit in? typical stuff that takes you back to the cafeteria in high school or your first day of elementary school.

so far i don’t even mind the traffic that much and i LOVE the weather.  i’m grateful for the area of town i live in and for the housing situation i am in.  sure, money’s a little tighter and i’m a little less adorned with cute clothes and kitschy room decor, but all in its own time.  i’m so grateful to have made some new friends and to reconnect with some old friends.

welcomer of the year award goes to:

sara mann, whose lovely, warm home i was just at.  (seriously check her stuff out here!)  she had a gathering of interesting people to watch her perform with miley cyrus on the teen choice awards.  she even had the cutest little-like-me cupcakes because today is my birthday.  thank you!!  my friend count may even be up to like 10 now!  ha.  i am grateful!

la la land

Hey! Sorry for my lack of posting–I’m getting ready to move to LA in 3.5 weeks. Crazy! I’m looking forward to seeing Adam, Karie, Jack and co. more often but also happy I made a new friend! Yay! She’s Sara Mann, backup singer for Miley Cyrus and freakishly talented. And I can already tell she’s my kinda person, real, earthy, honest, a little sassy and easy to talk to. Maybe you should pop on over to her blog here and comment her so she keeps writing more!

You can check her out in the video below…and I must admit it is kinda funny because before I knew her, “The Climb” was definitely my move-to-LA anthem. Full circle as Oprah says! :) Haha. I’m planning on seeing Sara perform in the Miley/Metrostation tour.

I also have gotten to host my dear friend Rachelle as she’s back from Denmark for a bit which has been absolutely lovely.

Okay, my dad took 90% of my stuff to storage today so my apartment is looking a little bare. Despite my excitement it’s a little bittersweet saying goodbye to everyone. I’m doing things gypsy style and only taking 3 large suitcases to LA, most of which will be filled with clothes! :)

xoxo

reach on out

Ok so the internet seems to be ablaze with commentary regarding Miss California USA’s response to gossip blogger and pageant judge Perez Hilton’s question on gay marriage. Suffice it to say Miss Cali USA’s response was very divisive and one would think even if she supports the hateful ban on gay marriage she could craft a more compelling answer. I echo other sentiments I have read that she made her answer too personal and did not show compassionate diplomacy. Former Miss USA Shanna Moakler (credible source in this instance) stated that had Carrie Prejean won she would not have been the first conservative Christian. And with Prop 8 having passed her opinion seems to still be the majority, sadly. But a Miss USA does compete in Miss Universe and must be able to represent various groups with dignity.

Hilton suggests she could have even stated that she would leave it up to each state. I wonder if Miss Cali could’ve won with anything less than a progressive answer.

Regardless of Miss Cali’s narrowmindedness, my real purpose of this blog post is none other than Miley Cyrus. Love her or not, girlfriend made a cool $40mil last year. And I’ve already admitted publicly that I quite enjoy her new ballad “The Climb”.

Ok getting to the point here… Hilton’s “love you or hate you” style of borderline personality disordered blogging has never been favorable toward Cyrus. He’s been downright cruel and “Miles” seemed genuinely hurt.

But leave it to Twitter to bring us all together. Today, several of Perez’s posts seem genuinely affected (yes I am using genuine and Hilton in the same sentence). To which Miley summons up her class, takes the high road and reaches out to offer words of support and encouragement. She gave a thought out message detailing the ways she believes it is ungortunate that Jesus gets intermixed with messages of hate and that she was concerned he was sad/hurt. (She’d already twittered to Perez that his comments were hurtful a few weeks back and he did not rescind even his “slut” comment). Pretty classy of a 16 year old. Mad props Miley. Mad props. Now THAT’S Jesus-y.

At the end of the day I’m shocked we’re all still talking about a stupid beauty pageant but we are.

the miley killjoy

okay, i’ve said it before that i find miley cyrus endearing.  i’ll dance to “see you again” with the best of ‘em in detroit.  anyways.  i’m stalling.

i want to like her new music video for “7 things”, i really do, even though she is disney channel and my musical tastes should probably be too mature for her.  but she’s catchy-pop and i like it.  but the video?!?!  first of all it’s rumored to be about her break-up with one of the jonas brothers (hence some dog tag reference and the photograph) and i have to like the jonas brothers because they had coffee with my best friend after they all filmed oprah and he said they were super nice.  miley probably is too.  so sorry miles, if you’re thinking i’m insulting you.  i think you’re a fun performer.

okay, seriously, back to the video:

• it’s kinda boring.  it doesn’t really change.  not really artsy-edgy.  it makes me feel even lamer for liking her because it’s basically making her look like a 7th grader who’s slamming her locker door after reading “do you like me? check yes or no” notes and drawing hearts on her binder.
• what is with the casting of bad-acting 11 year olds?  isn’t she what, like 16 now?  her “backup dancers, crying brokenhearted posse” seems like they are a good 5 years younger than her.  (and whoa around 2:11 they really start going for it.  that’s some shmacting lol!)  is she trying to make amends for the vanity fair adult-y shoot by recapturing her tween fanbase?
• this is a confusing move because the song doesn’t really seem appropriate for the kid/tween audience.  it’s not very disney and she says “i hate” about 81 times.  and the redemptive factor is going to go way over the heads of her average fan who is probably a good 10 years younger than i.

granted, i am reading way too much into some miley video, but like i said, i find her endearing and i watch “hannah montana” whenever i’m sick.  and for the record, i still like the song despite the video.  :)  and yes, i just spent way too much time analyzing miley.

“awesome blossom fabulous fantastic”

Simply youtube “Dance Battle” for some fierce, supa-fly dancing that will make this handicap (me jokes!) wish she had some moves.  Right now it’s Adam / Chu Dance Crew vs. Miley & Mandy Cru.  I can’t wait to be on the View so personality will be enough to allow me to participate (hee!  No but seriously, I will earn the right to make a cameo on this type of thing someday! ♥)  Broadway and this are my loves because they take me outside my “dis-ability” and let my mind soar to another place where I too can shake it.  I mean that partially in jest, but also seriously.  As a kid, I lived on a good dance break or musical which made me forget all about the stares, the teasing…everything.  All they need is a little Rockette legs, right Stacers?  I kidds I kidds! :)

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the sacred and the sexual

i actually wrote this last night on the train home from portland after a book i was reading.  when i got home i heard about the miley cyrus vanity fair “scandal” and decided to post this as it is very fitting.  and to comment on the miley situtation, i echo what donny deutsch said on the today show.  the view gals added more interesting talk on the issue, as did rosie.  i think the vanity fair shoot was a calculated career move – they’re media-savvy.  the “apology” was necessary to keep the air clean with disney, nervous parents of teen fans and the shoot was “necessary” to begin propelling her into a credible career once she hits 18 and the hannah montana gig is over.  miley professes that she is a person of faith, many morning commentators reminded us, which make her actions more “dishonorable”.  i don’t think that is necessarily fair either.

whether or not we believe the photos were appropriate, whether or not we chide the cyrus family’s “values” – we do realize this business, show business requires sexuality, at least some element of it.  so really, why are we making miley an example?  are we that surprised? 

so what’s a performer to do?  what do we do to find wholeness in sexuality and spirituality as it pertains to our profession  and our personal lives?  we are often hired, paid and required to be found “sexy” or at least romance-inducing, attractive or desirable?  how do we reattach the sacred in public life?  part of my job as a striving, sometimes-working actress is to be appealing.  and to be genuine in it, through it and despite it.  maybe my industry friends will chime in and say this better than i, but how do i balance the dueling tensions of the sacred and the sexual, the private and the public and the deeply personal? 

what happens to our souls when we must channel a private experience (sexuality) in the public sphere.  are we damaged by pouring ourselves out into the public realm?  does public sensuality, as in what is required to sustain a successful acting career rob me in any way?  how do we seek reconciliation?

all these ruminations have been brought about by well-meaning church ladies asking how i can ”say curses” or “seduce” in an audition.  while i am a more “liberal church lady” who adores her gays and needs a savior, i rarely have an answer that they find suitable, except for:

 a word is just a word and this is acting. 

but still, that answer seems to not calm their reservations.  i get that hollywood and church seem to be fighting, but i truly love them both and want them to be honest, genuine friends.  reserve judgment. :)

am i making any sense?  i’m not sure.  what do you think?

less than an inch deep here

My friends are even funnier than Miley Cyrus’ attempts at hilarity! :)  (OK, at least just as fun!)  Although yes, I would be friends with Hannah Montana. :)

the wrap-up

the writers are back and it was hollywood’s golden night.  me and my mom watched the show–we were a little bummed that the show started early this year–we totally missed the pre-show which is an equally important part of the day.  okay, so the oscars are a holiday in my book, similar to the superbowl.  it’s a big freakin’ deal! :)

so here’s my wrap-up.  overall the event was classy, of course i loved the broadwayesqueness of having the songs performed, particularly the kristin chenoweth enchanted number.  several colleagues didn’t understand why she sang it since she isn’t in the movie–probably because steven schwartz wrote that song, ala broadway genius writer of wicked which she starred.  (aka idina menzel, wicked’s other lead is in the movie).  maybe they weren’t sure amy adams could carry 3 numbers live and if anyone has the chops for it, kristin does!  (a lot of my colleagues also didn’t know she owned broadway up and down before her cross over to film and tv).

other noteworthy moments of people owning the night… 

so i’d never heard of marion cotillard before last night, but she basically owned both in the style sense and also in the winning sense and also in the general cute/winsomeness of her speech factor.  favorite oscar speech #2.