i’m here

hello l.a.!  i’m finally here, after 24 hours of travel upon which my brother and i made a movie which is in its editing stages and will be posted soon.  it’s actually pretty funny, if i do say so myself.  two feelings come to mind in regards to my first week in l.a. — grateful to be doing this and scared out of my mind!  i’ve travelled a lot and even lived in toronto on tour for three months but that’s just it–it was travel or i was on tour and all the details were taken care of.  this is my first time uprooting myself completely, taking 10% of my stuff (the rest is in storage) and moving.  i’m really proud of myself for doing it, really grateful that i can do it and also feeling typical fears and insecurities.

like will i ever have the community i had in seattle?  will i fit in? typical stuff that takes you back to the cafeteria in high school or your first day of elementary school.

so far i don’t even mind the traffic that much and i LOVE the weather.  i’m grateful for the area of town i live in and for the housing situation i am in.  sure, money’s a little tighter and i’m a little less adorned with cute clothes and kitschy room decor, but all in its own time.  i’m so grateful to have made some new friends and to reconnect with some old friends.

welcomer of the year award goes to:

sara mann, whose lovely, warm home i was just at.  (seriously check her stuff out here!)  she had a gathering of interesting people to watch her perform with miley cyrus on the teen choice awards.  she even had the cutest little-like-me cupcakes because today is my birthday.  thank you!!  my friend count may even be up to like 10 now!  ha.  i am grateful!

la la land

Hey! Sorry for my lack of posting–I’m getting ready to move to LA in 3.5 weeks. Crazy! I’m looking forward to seeing Adam, Karie, Jack and co. more often but also happy I made a new friend! Yay! She’s Sara Mann, backup singer for Miley Cyrus and freakishly talented. And I can already tell she’s my kinda person, real, earthy, honest, a little sassy and easy to talk to. Maybe you should pop on over to her blog here and comment her so she keeps writing more!

You can check her out in the video below…and I must admit it is kinda funny because before I knew her, “The Climb” was definitely my move-to-LA anthem. Full circle as Oprah says! :) Haha. I’m planning on seeing Sara perform in the Miley/Metrostation tour.

I also have gotten to host my dear friend Rachelle as she’s back from Denmark for a bit which has been absolutely lovely.

Okay, my dad took 90% of my stuff to storage today so my apartment is looking a little bare. Despite my excitement it’s a little bittersweet saying goodbye to everyone. I’m doing things gypsy style and only taking 3 large suitcases to LA, most of which will be filled with clothes! :)

xoxo

realistically hopeful

If you and I were to really get to know each other, you might gather that I tended toward being a closeted sad little girl with big, big song-and-dance to cover it. My dream of escaping into another person’s life through acting was culminated in watching the Academy Awards every year. I would often make a fort in my room and line up all my stuffed animals and make acceptance speeches. I was transfixed by the power of storytelling and the realization that humans could connect globally through television and film. In America at least, screen time is power. While this is admittedly a silly value, as a little girl I connected the dots. I had never really seen another little person on television before–so I believed that I was a sub-species of humankind and not as valuable. Ever since I was a little schoolgirl, I dreamed something different for the next generation. The thing I am most passionate about is acting, and specifically telling stories that might somehow help future children believe in a future for themselves.  Through my family background and through my dwarfism, spending most of my childhood feeling as if I were a sub-species is what fuels me today to act.  It is the thing that I live, breathe, and dream about on a daily basis.

“I grew up in a place…where this was not a very realistic dream”.

-Penelope Cruz

I am thankful though that our hearts know that realistic dreams never make us very happy.

My favorite acceptance speeches this year—beautiful, beautiful, beautiful:

Glorious musicale nod:

(I couldn’t find the Slumdog/Wall-E Medley on youtube but it was even more moving in person–I teared up both times I saw it live.  I also loved the “Craigslist Dancers” and “Reader” portion of Hugh Jackman’s opening number).

awkward grocery store moments

for the most part, grocery stores always include awkward moments as i scan the aisles looking for friendly-ish faces walking by to see if they can grab the lilac scented tide detergent on the top shelf.  i’ll stand there for 3 minutes and then if no one walks by, i usually settle for choice #2.  i used to climb the shelves more often which is just always even more awkward as 1. i don’t usually dress for success (forget to change out of a dress or something into more climbing-appropriate clothes) 2. the stares i get from that act are more awkward than the typical “she’s a dwarf” stares.

anyways, today’s edition of “awkward grocery store moments” is affectionately called “awkward check-out moment”.  so the lady’s bagging my assortment of random purchases and then at the end she goes, “i really like that little people happy planet show”.  this brings me to my first note.  no one seems to get the title right, here is an assortment of misnomers i have heard…

• little people in the world
• little people big planet
• little big people
• people big world
• people in a big world
• or my personal favorite, midgets in a big world (don’t you just love its pc-appeal!) :)

for the sake of this blog, we shall call it lpbw, or lpb-dubs for the remainder of this post. 

school has the plums

School has the plums, Kate says.

So the school I teach at has major plumbing issues that have kept us closed all week.  We were open Monday but then on Tuesday around 8:30am we closed unexpectedly.  So on Tuesday morning I scooped up my Katie Bug and we went to Kate’s house for the day.  My assistant came with us for a little while and then we had a playdate with sweet Georgie.  The rest of the week thus far has included trips to the aquarium, the little gym, seeing my little Farah and Mad, and enjoying quality bonding time with two precious girls.  I am enjoying making a little extra money and having paid vacation while the school is closed, although I realize what a pickle this is for most parents.

But there is something about crisis that invigorates the deeply relational part of me.  My heart is  full when we band together.  It’s so lonely and isolating out there sometimes.  Not just because I’m single, but because I’m young and “independent”.  The independence is so freeing and fulfilling in one way, but truly experiencing the whole “it takes a village” is so nurturing to my heart.  To be able to mother and nurture two sweet girls who are not mine is a gift, I am honored that their mothers are willing to share them with me.  And yes, my heart felt held on Tuesday night when we elected our next president.  No one wishes for crisis, but the gift of it is that it can draw us near. There are moments when we reach out and band together and those moments are so far and few between.

kick it out

Update #2:  Someone uploaded their full performance from last night on youtube.  Check it out below.  I was so proud, tears filled my eyes and I got goosebumps.  You ladies dazzled. 

It starts around the one minute mark.

Update:  They also made an appearance on the Ellen Show.  Work it out.

Original Post:

A little video of my beautiful friends on “Dancing with the Stars” (around 1:30 in this segment).  They are also dancing on tonight’s episode.  Yay Annie and Nicole!  You are fierce! :)  (You can also watch the full episodes online here).

baggage

“Baggage”: A drama written for teenage girls.

What do you think?
Technically?  Artistically?  Spiritually?  Emotionally? 

(My friend Jenifer is singing in this at the end and it is sponsored by an organization some of my friends speak for).

less than an inch deep here

My friends are even funnier than Miley Cyrus’ attempts at hilarity! :)  (OK, at least just as fun!)  Although yes, I would be friends with Hannah Montana. :)

you could love me again, part 2

another angle to this earlier post.  sometimes i’m really patient.  too patient.  unbending, unyielding, overly self-sacrificingly (not a word, i realize) patient.  it doesn’t happen all the time, but my stubborn hope can kick it a long time.

all of this time i’d planned, i’d be patient and you could love me again…

-elle, legally blonde the musical

so there are no real rule books in relationships.  for every author out there, all the wisdom in the world doesn’t always sift to the top when you’re actually dealing with matters of the heart.

part of my resolution to live more fearlessly has been bumping up against my desire to people please and and keep things together.  for me, feeling like i’m living fearlessly came easier when i was on the road with a show or somewhere new.  perhaps because even though i made friends, we don’t have long, shared histories.  maybe habits are harder to kick in familiar spaces.  or maybe i just can “recreate” myself by changing my surroundings every few months and that’s another reason why i liked touring so much! :)

i don’t know.  part of me is good at being liberated and free and just pursuing my dreams and another part of me wonders if she’s being too patient about a certain relationship. 

in love…

…with new york city! while i won’t go into too much detail until i get back, i will say, i am head over heels in love with manhattan.  stace is the bestest tour guide, it has been so much fun.  seeing (of course) stacey and then laura, nikki, stefan, eric, liz, matt, ryan, hilary, tyler, and soon dan has been enough to fill my heart with complete and total glee.  this city is beyond amazing.  i love everything so far–my favorites being times square + broadway.  my heart is happy.  i’ll post the full wrap-up sometime after i get back next wednesday.