too hot to handle

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i’m told it’s like 100 degrees today in portland.  i didn’t fall alseep until 6am last night because i was so hot.  i had had enough today so i decided to go to class with my roommate.  the class is on conflict management/resolution…hmm, what a good refresher course.

-don’t beat your point to death.  once you have said it, stop.

-don’t listen to everybody else. don’t plant your flag on what a third person tells you.  people lie, they like a show.

-in an argument, there is so much under the surface that often goes undealt with.  within yourself their is a hidden snag of unmet interests.  what are my motivations?

-never apologize for your feelings.

-if you find a reason to nitpick, that you want to, you’re looking for ammunition and there are deeper issues there.  you should ask yourself if you really want to be in the relationship.  are you just looking for excuses, ammunition to make your point and get out?

on one hand, i appear confident and gutsy like i don’t care what the world thinks.  that is true on one level, i definitely have learned to have a thick skin with acquaintances and outsiders.  but on the other hand, with my inner circle i am a definitely a people pleaser who hates it when others are upset with me.  this was a great refresher, especially since i’m having a difficult conversation this evening.

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