we can take a moment…
holiness and wholeness. is it any better if you fragment your life and pretend something’s not there? some people of faith say so. don’t ask don’t tell. i disagree.
i resigned this week from a personal role i had worked hard to attain. i chose to walk away because i don’t think it was what i was really made for. it was a respected role. it was scary to say no. what if my life now garners little respect? while i bowed out, i also now breathe more deeply? while it was respected, i felt isolated to my true personhood. i’m more and more just content to be me.
fighting out of isolation is brave. at least that’s what i tell myself. it is cowardly to isolate. being alone and unseen is sometimes easier than asking for what you want. i don’t want to be a ghost to my own existence. whether i am brazen or ridiculously out of touch with reality, i’d still rather fight for what i really want than settle for a half life.
this week’s grey’s was particularly powerful. about isolation. bravery. being unseen but brilliant. being stupid but brave. being honest.
- meredith is not a hero in her own loneliness, she’s a coward for letting derek get away. but she’s opening up the curtains to her soul and letting herself face the darkness.
- derek’s a coward for choosing subpar and knowing it.
- the whole don’t ask don’t tell arch.
- cristina is the unseen hand to burke’s brilliance and she’s finally letting herself feel it.
- callie and erica are obviously fragmenting which can’t be healthy. you don’t make friends easily? really, is that what it is?
- lexie is fearfully aware of being forgotten, if the deepest form of physical intimacy is forgettable what does that say about your wholeness in relationships?