practically flawed in every way

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practically perfect in every way.  i’m sure they aren’t really, but i’ve stumbled upon the perfect scene of my former ambitions.  i’m enjoying the air conditioning at peet’s on queen anne when i stumbled upon four very “ann taylor loft” young professionals having bible study.  they really are a pretty picture.  petite, blonde, perky, professional, sweet and soft-spoken.  other than the petite and once in a while the perky, i feel like an alien.  bibles open, they seem really committed to studying.

and it’s kind of funny, because four years ago i would have been so there.  maybe somewhere along the way my faith got weathered, i got jaded, life made me angry or i just got real.  i’m not implying that they aren’t genuine, just realizing that i wasn’t when i tried to be them. 

my faith has certainly changed.  it’s become more open, some say more hippie, clinging to social justice, more accepting with tinges of hopeful universalism, and more confused.  i hold onto very little tightly, there are very few ideas that i would hold onto fiercely.  i hope that god likes the idea of universalism as much as i do.   i think god is real, i feel god as love.  i don’t know where we are going after death but i hope i’m going to be hanging out with god, the people i love and everyone who tried to leave the world a better place.

i’m thankful my dad doesn’t read my blog otherwise he’d probably be praying for my salvation right now.  before my comments are full of “lady get saved and born again” and all that, i really do still think that jesus christ is real.  who he is means something to me, i need salvation and i hope he extends it to me.  i think god is at work in the world, in my life and when i think of salvation, restoration, reconciliation, and transformation — the picture i see is jesus christ.  i have a lot of questions right now, probably a bit of anger, and i think a god worth believing in can handle them.

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