question sesh #2

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Ok, a few weeks back I got the ball rolling with question sesh #1 and I’m ready to tackle one of the harder questions I got this ’round.

So here we go:

 Don’t know if you can answer this question honestly without people thinking you’re talking about specific people (don’t know if you care) but I actually am interested in this debate/topic. How do you honestly feel about average size siblings and friends attending the LP conventions? How do you think most LP feel about it?

Yikes.  Let’s clarify one thing first–“without talking about specific people” here is quite tricky because I know exactly what the person who asked me this question is asking about (they included their opinion after the question in their email to me).  Okay–before we boil this down to a few points–let’s just say, I’m only one person among many and this is just my opinion.  And while I might not agree with ALL of the decisions someone else makes, I am able to separate that from the overall character of the person and let’s aim to all do that together, ok doke? :)

My gut reaction is wondering why random AP friends go to LPA conferences…

  • Sometimes I kind of worry about voyeurism–are they just going to point and gawk.  I am being totally honest here–this is my OWN insecurity–99.9% of the AP people I’ve met at the conferences are totally not there for that and are going to try and understand what it’s like to be small.
  • They kind of take over the dance floor at times.  And some of the guys pay more attention to them…again, is that just my jealousy talking?  Did I say that outloud?  But no seriously, I think there are a handful of LP guys who make a point of trying to get with tall girls at LPA conferences–it’s kind of an ego thing?  What do I know?
  • Sometimes I just want it to be about the LP buds that I rarely get to see and the AP’s that go with LP friends make the group “all about them.”  Sometimes.
  • I get how AP siblings would invite a friend to hang out with while their LP sibling is busy being social.  But I would say that most AP siblings would not need to do that because they have a huge community of other AP siblings that they have probably known their whole life–thus there being plenty of people for them to hang out with.

But!  There are a lot of reasons AP’s would go to LPA conferences and I’ve even wanted to invite some AP friends myself.

  • Sometimes I just want my AP friends to go with me so they can understand more what it’s like to be me and understand the dynamics of an LPA convention.  I sometimes feel like I have to try so hard to fit in and make people not think I’m different that I am less vulnerable about the struggle.  So considering inviting them to a conference is one way I am letting them into my world.  But then I think about my reasons not to invite them and I am often torn.
  • I have an average sized brother who went with our family to the conventions growing up.  There are a lot of average sized siblings that go and a lot of activities for them to do together.  It is like a support group for them as well.  My brother was the only AP person in our family and I imagine felt like an outsider sometimes.  So when he was a kid he had a lot of other AP sibling friends and they would have mixers and all sorts of fun things.  Now that he is almost 19, he doesn’t really go anymore.  Most of it probably has to do with the cost–why would he use his limited money for that?  I guess the need for support isn’t really predominant for him anymore–when we were kids my parents paid for him to go.  I think he’s kind of outgrown that now.   I do know he keeps in touch with other AP siblings.  There are always tons of AP family members and doctors that go to the conventions–so if my friends ever did go they would not feel out of place probably.  Did you know that 90% of LP’s are born to average sized parents? 

I guess this issue is kind of complex and really depends on the person and their own blend of LP/AP family members. 

For the most part, I think if AP friends go the main thing is to be respectful of the fact that this is the one time a lot of people who are there feel “normal”.  Realizing that is really important, in my opinion.  In some ways, my AP friends that I see day in and day out get me in ways my LP friends do not, who mostly only see me once a year.  But my LP friends and I share a bond of really understanding what the other person is going through that even my best AP friends have no idea about.  I only have a couple of best LP friends that I really know well and talk to on an almost daily basis–Zach and on a monthly basis–Josh (and his AP boyfriend David) :).  My other LP friend that I’ve gone shopping with a few times is Margaret who lives in my region so I get to see her 2-3 times a year.  But I have a lot of friends that I hang out with at the conventions and we pick up right where we left off at the convention before. 

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One response »

  1. Very interesting, Jen. Like you said, you’re only one person, but I’d bet your opinion is shared by many.

    I think the only thing that would prevent it from being a problem that the LPA might need to look into would be it doesn’t happen often? Cost would prevent it from being a problem. How much does it cost to go? I’m guessing there isn’t many families that could afford to bring friends of AP with them.

    By the introduction to the question, I can guess who the question was about and money is obviously not a factor for them.

    Great answer though.

    I wouldn’t think gawking would be a problem because if their a friend of a LP or a friend of an AP with LP siblings that’s probably not an issue for them.

    At the same time, I think it is intrusive and I wouldn’t feel comfortable as an AP partying out at LITTLE PERSON convention. All the reasons you so nicely stated.

    Great blog Jen. Like I read somebody say about, you’re more informative and effective at presenting your perspective on things than some of than other LPs with greater notoriety. I’m glad I found your blog.

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