the cost of beauty?


“But what I call this is female cross dressing. In other words a woman that over accentuates her femaleness – who becomes a Barbie doll – that always really concerns me. That suggests some significant trauma. And rather than treating that, making her go through all this…I’m glad she’s satisfied with it – God bless her – I’m glad she’s happy but this is not going to be the end of it.”
-Dr. Drew in this article

I have to agree.  Trauma.  The covering of serious pain.  The neglect of one’s self worth.  And I just have to ask, what doctor in their right, ethical mind would operate 10 times on a 23 year-old?  This is not a victim of an accident or a major medical deformity.  I mean, in every effort to be transparent, there are days I’ve had–dark evenings when I’ve come home from being out in public all day long and I’m simply exhausted.  Evenings in which I want to hide, hide from normal looking people, after all the comments I’ve gotten and for some reason the 8th comment just really gets to me in a way it never has before.  Maybe because I’m tired, maybe because on that specific day I’m not feeling confident about my looks, or maybe it’s just an off day, but that one comment just finagles its way into me like a leech.  But really, days like that usually heal themselves after a good sleep, a good bit of talking or a reality check.  I refuse to let my heart stay there.  I was made this way, maybe by genetic accident, but it was allowed.  And really, it is a reminder that there will always be people more beautiful and there will always be people more ugly–whether they feel more ugly, are ugly on the inside or just not as symmetrical as American beauty aspires to.  But please Heidi, this oversexualization, this cutting, this frantic, manic quest for perfection is only displacing what’s really going on–the hurt that lingers when you’re alone, the thoughts that come to mind when you can’t sleep, and the deep pain that was inflicted upon you when you were in formation.

He who began a good work in you,

will be faithful to complete it.


she can’t even speak normally or move her face?  she broke her face is all i can think about, broke it and stuffed it and moved it around.  it’s just so sad to me, when she talks, she seems non-human.  she spent 3 years obsessed?  i feel like if you look at the mirror long enough to come up with 10 plans for surgery you might just need to stop looking in the mirror, stop obsessing about yourself, go see a therapist and find a cause to obsess about it.

what do you think?


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