Hi. I did this video blog a couple weeks ago and it has taken me a bit to post it. It’s such a topic close to my heart that I wanted to make sure it was just right before I shared it with you. If I am anything, I must be honest, both with my successes and my failures, my strengths and my growth edges. I am human. This is just the first reflection of several.
Yes, I did Katy Perry’s Birthday Party as “dwarf entertainment”–with Taylor Swift, Perez Hilton and Julianne Hough. I have to be honest. Please leave me a comment–I would love to know what you think, if you have an idea for something else you want me to talk about, etc.
Come back when I do the Radio City Christmas show, I’ll be needing a dancing elf.
This clip always makes me smile and psychs me up for an audition. :) Me favorite Chenoweth plus hey! I was a dancing elf. I have a big next week ahead of me in that realm and a fun weekend down in Portland this weekend! Today at work, my assistant came down with a cold so I turned my normal routine of 25 handwashes a day (hey, it makes sense when carrying for 13 germs preschoolers) to 50 handwashes and 15 Purell dollops. Can’t get sick, can’t get sick, can’t get sick.
Also, feel free to follow me on the newest internet craze…Twitter!!!
and if i dont reach in there and grab as many of them as i can carry everyday, then i deserve to get sent right back there.
-“simon” on studio 60 (dl hughley)
salvation. liberation. redemption. transformation. i don’t just mean these in the born-again bible-believing hook-line-and-sinker way we’ve been taught. i mean these words, yes, spiritually, but broader than just those who call themselves “christians”. i’m talking about faith. about beauty. about art and truth and love. i feel like if someone has extended these qualities to you, if they have reached into the muck and carried you out. if they have delivered you. if they have opened the doors to your dreams. you should pay it forward. if you seek integrity, i think it is necessary. i don’t see how it is personally avoidable. if someone ever opens the door to my dreams, a director thinks outside the box and casts me in a truthful, mainstream way…the only way i could live up to it were to extend that to others, wherever possible. the joy from acting, from being paid to emote like that, would simply bubble over and i couldn’t help myself not to. the joy would be impossible to contain. what do you think?
the writers are back and it was hollywood’s golden night. me and my mom watched the show–we were a little bummed that the show started early this year–we totally missed the pre-show which is an equally important part of the day. okay, so the oscars are a holiday in my book, similar to the superbowl. it’s a big freakin’ deal! :)
so here’s my wrap-up. overall the event was classy, of course i loved the broadwayesqueness of having the songs performed, particularly the kristin chenoweth enchanted number. several colleagues didn’t understand why she sang it since she isn’t in the movie–probably because steven schwartz wrote that song, ala broadway genius writer of wicked which she starred. (aka idina menzel, wicked’s other lead is in the movie). maybe they weren’t sure amy adams could carry 3 numbers live and if anyone has the chops for it, kristin does! (a lot of my colleagues also didn’t know she owned broadway up and down before her cross over to film and tv).
other noteworthy moments of people owning the night…
so i’d never heard of marion cotillard before last night, but she basically owned both in the style sense and also in the winning sense and also in the general cute/winsomeness of her speech factor. favorite oscar speech #2.
kind of a lie. living fearlessly, my mantra for 2008, is not easy stuff. it’s painful and awkward, maybe because it’s new and unnatural. i had all these plans to do a “best of” blog, reviewing the top products i sold at my seasonal luxury make-up gig that ended last week, but i’ve not followed through yet. will do, perhaps this weekend. oh and yeah, i’m so over the winter greyness! ok i’ll stop being a grumpy-gills. :)
and counting til i board my plane to the heart of new york city! i probably won’t blog while i’m there but i promise i will return in 8 days with stories and pictures galore to share!
just thought i’d leave you with an excellent piece of television–i’ve rented season 1 of studio 60…i’m loving it. harriet hayes is based on kristin chenoweth. it’s well written, smart and beyond hilarious.
(sidenote: listen to the song above, first heard on grey’s anatomy…)
actors are dreamers, i think its what sustains us. since our longings and hopings are so often yet untangible–dreaming is what anchors our heart to hope. we can have what we deem to be the most glorious audition only to find we weren’t cast because our left leg was a tad “askew”.
i think that most would agree that we spend more time dreaming than actually being paid to act–unless you are in the top 1% of working actors that have consistent, meaningful employment.
i find that most people not in this industry do not understand why we would put ourselves through it. i realize that makes sense, why would anyone willingly put themselves through that kind of pain, rejection and angst?
i recently (forget the exact source) heard one of my theatrical heroes, kristin chenoweth, giving advice to someone who asked if they should pursue professional acting? she said something to the effect of, “only if you can’t imagine yourself doing anything else?”
this is not to say that i don’t have other life goals, such as authoring, mothering and hosting/interviewing. but the thread of acting professionally has run through my veins from the time i was three years old and i cannot imagine myself doing anything else.
it’s really tempting to artistically “sell out” sometimes. i hear of plenty of little people who perform in parts i consider degrading or basically shallow. i realize “to each their own” and it probably sounds harsh that i say this. i don’t want to be judgmental, except to say, that I could not find value in dancing around as a miniature version of a “personality” at your local birthday party, club or bar mitzvah. i just couldn’t. yet i don’t have the right to judge others who do.
it’s easy to empathize with those who don’t understand why this industry–on bad days, i’d be right with you. yet the passionate desire in my heart when i rise and fall asleep is to be on tv in a mainstream role, and for this, all i can do is keep breathing.
i find a lot of solace in blasting broadway tunes on my ipod: wicked, aida, avenue q, legally blonde, altar boyz, rent, spring awakening, light in the piazza, anything kristin chenoweth, mix broadway tapes made by my dearest stacey, grady or adam. if i lived in new york city i’d probably be broke from seeing every show known to man. or maybe not. maybe because i live in seattle and shows come around rarely, i can spend hours on youtube catching clips and my favorite songs being belted out from the big stage.
i’ll be honest, you might think i’m a bandwagoner broadway fan, and i admit it’s only been growing on me for the past few years. because i live in seattle, there’s rarely the opportunity to see a good show. and it’s very expensive (i don’t think we have a lottery system) and the seats go super fast. the last show i saw in seattle was the wedding singer and i thought it just okay. i saw pippin in toronto and that was not bad, but then i fell in love with wicked and saw it twice in toronto.
but lately, actually just since the accident, life has felt very unsettled. next year: seattle or portland? radio city or teaching? will i get a job or continue to be unemployed? will the medical insurance come through or will i get stuck with the $25k-ish? will i be left behind by the gaggle of newly married friends, where have all my single girls gone? what’s going on with the boy, it looks like it’s over? is god the author of dreams or do i just need to let certain ones die? how come my heart’s cry is to be an actress but i’m physically limited by my size because i live in a world without audition opportunities? now before you run off and tell your mama i have some kind of generalized anxiety disorder, it probably sounds a lot worse on the blog than it is in real life.
but really, i’m learning that yes, 15 seconds can change your life. i got into an accident, moments before i was happily returning to portland with plans to reaudition for radio city. 15 seconds later and then the insurance falls through and you have to let your acting dreams go so you can get a stable job and make payments. you never dreamed of debt, you have less than $10k after 5 years at a private university. debt is the death to dreams when you’d wanted to live a gypsy life. no more la vie boheme.
so now i’m applying for teaching jobs for stability even though i didn’t want to teach for 3-5 more years. and thinking very seriously about moving home to seattle–i miss the community.
hope sprouts designs. 
